


The Nightmare is always the Same

by JaqenH3



Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:07:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23064475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaqenH3/pseuds/JaqenH3
Summary: A recurring nightmare. Thank you to TheEmpressAR for the help editing and assistance. A later gift to GenKay as although our stories are VERY different, we both see the importance of Miguel and Robbby and the fact they have a stronger bond then other characters.Still somewhat of a rough draft--I wanted to only post the perfect story, but felt I was spending too much time on it and making it too long when I wanted a shorter story.
Relationships: Carmen Diaz/Johnny Lawrence, Miguel Diaz & Johnny Lawrence, Miguel Diaz & Original Characters, Miguel Diaz & Robby Keene, Robby Keene & Johnny Lawrence, Robby Keene & Original Characters, Robby Keene & Shannon Keene
Kudos: 27





	The Nightmare is always the Same

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheEmpressAR](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEmpressAR/gifts), [GenKay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenKay/gifts).



**The Nightmare is always the Same**

**By: _L'homme de Nulle Part_** _**a/k/a** **JaqenH** _

**_Cobra Kai Fanfiction_ ** **_  
_ ** **Not For Commercial Purposes. I do not own any rights.**

An uncontrollable guttural sound formed in the pit of his stomach, it turned into a deep moan that sounded like a cross between the sepulchral chants of Tibetan monks from deep in their beings and the vibrations of their monastic throats, mixed with a wounded animal. The sound came up through his core, rising in from a growling baritone, to a soprano, and then into a primal scream as it moved to his chest and throat and eventually exited his mouth. At this point, the throaty moaning had turned into a high but manly scream of a man in pain, or a man being attacked. There was fear and desperation in the scream. The young man who was screaming started to move his arms and legs around wildly. His arms and legs were flailing helplessly. 

He jolted out of bed by his torso, putting one leg down readying himself to get up from the long, comfortable sofa couch. His left hand blocked some unseen assailant, and his right hand tried to grab something, presumably a weapon, that was not there.

As he started to wake up from this dream state, he was disoriented, and didn’t realize where he was—even though he was home---and he still grunted out a few inarticulate moans and high pitched yelps, which settled down into shallow breathing. His eyes were half open, but he was alert, ready for something. He was sweating profusely, and the sweat glistened off of his lean, muscular, sinewy and tight tattoo covered body. 

He still had a baby face except for a small scar that seemed connected above and below his left eye. His skin was young with a naturally light brown and cinnamon complexion--darkened by his time outdoors in the sun. His sun kissed skin was thick, and while also young and soft, it was also tawny and even leathery in some parts. 

He was young, and athletic, but his body had a wound from a bullet on the right part of his chest close to his shoulder, burns on his fingers and hands, a piercing knife wounds on the right part of his chest and ribs, slashing knife wounds on his lower back, and a wound from a bullet fragment in the back of his left leg which caused him to walk with a limp. the only jewelry he had was a worn out string Brown Scapular from Ecuador, and a silver chain with a silver Saint Michael the Archangel medallion that his Sensei gave him before he joined the Marines, it belonged to his Sensei's father and there was a Polish inscription on it. 

He was still slender, and almost skinny yet still muscular, and strong with visible definition. His bones could be seen almost sticking out in some places of his body, and this was not the body of a bodybuilder, nor even someone into men’s physique—this was the body of a fighter— and even then, not a natural fighter but somebody who had to work hard at it. This was the body of a killer—not something he was proud of, but even if he was not proud of killing nor his instinct for it--he was very proud of his service in the United States Marine Corp. Even more profoundly--even though he retained some of his naivete, nerdiness, meekness, geekiness, and was still very likeable and lovable--not only did he have the body of a killer, the young man having the nightmare had the soul of a killer. Supposedly his father was a narco and a killer--the reason his mom was over protective and never wanted him to join Karate in the first place--but he never knew his dad and he was not a narco, nor did he kill for business nor pleasure. This dark side of his soul was tempered by his gentle almost pacifist Mother, his Grandma, his strong Catholic Faith, the discipline of the Karate he still practiced and loved, and his more mature Sensei--in addition to his military discipline and adherence to a military, martial arts, and personal code of honor. 

The young man’s brother started to wake at the initial rough sounds of his sibling’s guttural moaning, and by the first scream he jolted out of his dad’s Archie Bunker sofa chair, which he had stretched out in for the night. He quickly and gracefully moved over to his brother’s side, and put his strong large hand on his skinnier but equally strong brother’s chest, and told him that it was just a bad dream. His brother told him to breathe through the nose and out through the mouth, and relax--breathing techniques he learned from his Karate teacher almost 12 years earlier. He asked his brother having the nightmares if he needed a glass of water. The slightly older brother wore a gold Rolex Day-Date (228398TBR) self-winding automatic Watch, features a 40mm 18k yellow gold case with a diamond bezel surrounding a black baguette diamond dial on an 18k yellow gold President bracelet with a folding buckle on his right hand that was worth over $50,000--that almost glowed in the dark, and was a stark contrast to the old string Brown Scapular of his brother, and the older but real silver Saint Michael the Archangel medallion with a cheap faux silver chain bought from the Discount Mall. The younger brother owned 2 watches, a nice Mickey Mouse watch worth $100 maybe, and a Dive watch for SCUBA diving. The gold Rolex actually seemed to match the younger brother's skin, even though it was on the older brother's hand. 

Initially the startled young man who had the nightmare, blocked the hand on his chest, prepared to strike or lash out and scrambled for a weapon that did not exist at his side. He calmed down, partially waking and coming back to reality as he realized that he was home, and felt a sense of comfort knowing that he was home, and a comfort that his brother was there. The brother gently pushed him back on the couch with a little bit of resistance, and adjusted his pillow. Although the younger one still had his leg firmly affixed to the floor ready to jump up at a moment’s notice, he was visibly more relaxed. The brothers looked at each other, the younger brother trying to pretend that everything was ok, and the older brother trying to comfort him. 

Technically this was his step brother and they shared no blood. The two brothers did not look alike at all--and nobody would think they were brothers if they just met them. Johnny and Carmen, a parent belonging to each of them, had been together for nine years, and were married for eight of them now. It had been nine years since the Marine graduated High School, did two, four-year tours of active duty for eight years total on active duty in the United States Marine Corps, and he just finished up his first year in college. His step brother, Robby Keene-Lawrence, graduated a year behind Miguel Diaz-Lawrence in High School because he dropped out at the beginning of his sophomore year of High School, and was suspended for the first semester of his junior year. Robby dropped out of community college, over seven years prior after only two semesters. Robby Keene was 28 years old with a February 4th, 2002 Birthday, and Miguel Diaz was 27 years old, almost 28, with a June 18th, 2002 Birthday.

It was 11 years since the beginning of Miguel and Robby’s Junior Year, and that tragedy that ensued. Again, while Robby and Miguel were not brothers by blood, nor did they look related, they had hurt each other in ways that only a blood family member could do.

Despite dropping out of Community College after just a year, Robby was making a lot of money and was doing well selling cars. He was a natural salesman. He still worked at LaRusso Auto Group and was the top salesman there. However, the thing Robby wanted most in life was a stable family and attention from his father. So although he owns a luxury condo, he has been living with his dad for almost 10 years now. He still calls his mom twice a day, and meets her for dinner once a week---and for the last 4 years, Robby pays for all of his mom’s bills. 

Robby only used his condo to meet his seemingly countless number of young lady admirers and paramours, and to party with his friends--yet, even with all his money, and his epicurean bordering on hedonistic lifestyle, he preferred to stay most nights with his dad, step-mom Carmen, his new Yaya Rosa, and his brothers and sisters. Robby finally got the family he always wanted, even though he still had remnants of resentment and bitterness towards his father. 

Even though he had the family and stability he always wanted, sometimes he wished it was just with his own mom, with Johnny and him--at least when he was younger that was it he really wanted--but this imperfect arrangement the Lawrence-Diaz merger was still satisfying. 

Robby still had a resentment, bitterness and jealousy towards Miguel--but this was tempered by guilt, and his guilt outweighed his resentment, bitterness and jealousy. Robby also had an obligation of family towards Miguel now, and even if they did not share blood, they had a brother and 2 sisters that shared both of their bloodlines. 

Robby thought that his dad, Johnny, was more of a dad to Miguel than he ever was to him—although Robby was almost beyond that now, and there had been much healing—it still was a hurt that never completely goes away, and a hunger for family, love and attention that he will always crave. Robby sometimes temporarily forgot about the hunger for family, love and attention in unhealthy ways--drinking, partying, going to clubs, sleeping with numerous beautiful women--but even these sometimes intense pleasurable acts did not bring him happiness, nor a sense of satisfaction nor stability. The roar of the party, and the enjoyable haze from the booze, and the ecstasy and pleasure of being intimate with beautiful women-- all wore off eventually, and after the party and the pleasure ended, it still had him desiring for something different. Robby still wanted something more. Robby always returned to his home, his dad, his mom, his new step mom-Carmen, his Yaya, and his brothers and sisters. 

The boys both respected each other now. They were no longer boys really, but both men, both accomplished in their own ways. They were friends, yet not close. They cared about each other. They still had their own issues with each other, but it was rarely spoken about out loud. Robby and Miguel were brothers and friends--something nobody would've believed 11 years ago--and maybe that was enough. For Miguel, it was enough that Robby was Johnny’s son. If nothing else, Miguel was loyal. Robby always said that if he was in a fight, he would want Miguel at his side. 

Miguel’s nightmares disturbed Robby, and made him feel bad. Robby even felt guilty about the nightmares. While the bad dreams were more related to Miguel’s time in the Marines and his time in combat--that part had nothing to do with Robby nor their shared teenage past--part of the Nightmare and nightmares was because of Robby, or had its genesis with him —and Robby knew it. Robby often felt like he was in Miguel’s dreams--although Robby never said anything about it. 

They also both had difficulty with commitment, because there was a trauma, not as dramatic as being near death, nor causing harm to another human being, nor war, but love and lust are powerful memories--and they both loved the same girl when they were younger. While that girl, and another that Miguel also cared for in the past, were both in the final part of Miguel’s nightmares, it was almost as if it hazy in the background--but still the 2 girls were still ever present. 

Miguel and Robby worked hard at letting go of the past by bonding with their younger 8 year old brother John Stanley Lawrence y Diaz a/k/a Johnny Jr. a/k/a Juanito (Named after Johnny’s dad Stanley who died in Vietnam during the Tet offensive and was nicknamed “Johnny” after the novel and phrase “Johnny Got His Gun”. Johnny’s paternal Grandfather was also Stanley, but Stanley Kowalski, and he changed the name to Lawrence when he immigrated from Poland to the United States after WWII. Stanley/Johnny Lawrence was a genuine war hero and nominated posthumously for the Medal of Honor--but never received it despite the nomination. He died in combat saving other soldiers and was known for his bravery and courage.), and their twin sisters Laura Maria Lawrence y Diaz and Rosa Teresa Lawrence y Diaz. They were both almost four and going to a very expensive Dual Language Multicultural Montessori Pre-School. Johnny Jr. went to a private Independent Catholic school with uniforms and that was very conservative, and he just finished 3rd grade. Needless to say, Johnny Jr. was a great athlete, natural martial artist, was hyperactive, and adorable. The girl-twins still liked princesses and ballet, much to the frustration of their dad and older brothers--but they still liked play fighting with their older brothers. Johnny Jr loved his older sisters, but would sometimes pick on them, and Robby would always stop him and discipline him. 

Carmen had gotten pregnant with Johnny Jr. before she and Johnny got married. It took some time for Johnny to adapt to being married and being a dad of small children. The kids preferred big brother Miggy because he was warmer, more lenient and spoiled them, but the kids spent a lot more time with Robby when Miguel was away in the Marines. and Miguel only saw his brother and sisters while he was on leave or over Skype. Of course they loved Robby too, even though he was a bit colder and stricter. The new siblings kind of healed everyone.

Robby was more of a disciplinarian to his younger siblings than Miguel was. Robby tried to get Johnny Jr to paint fences, but that didn’t work that well. The twin-girls loved Johnny over Carmen—they were daddy’s girls. Johnny spoiled his twin girls and doted on them and was much harder on his son Johnny Jr. Johnny Jr. clearly favored Carmen and he was a Mommy’s boy just like Miguel--but Johnny Jr did love Karate. However, all of the kids loved their Yaya the most—Rosa was the favorite—even Robby loved Yaya the most, but Rosa did not like Robby at first until he grew on her and Rosa eventually became his Yaya too. Eventually, Rosa loved Robby almost as much as she loved Miguel. 

They all loved each other, and many of the hurts of the past were erased with the addition of Johnny Jr, and then the twin girls Laura and Rosa. They were a loving even if imperfect family. Miguel never had nightmares when his little brother or sisters slept by him or on him—it was like they were natural healers. 

\-----

Robby and Miguel had fallen asleep on the sofa chair and couch the night of the nightmare, they fell asleep while they were both watching movies, eating pizza and drinking beers. They both had just broken up with their respective girlfriends. They both were tired from long weeks at work and school. They both trained in Karate during the week. They talked about going out, but decided to stay in and relax. 

After being woke up from the nightmares, and Miguel seemed at peace again, Robby laid back on his dad’s “Archie Bunker” sofa chair and prepared to go back to sleep. However, Robby couldn’t fall back asleep until he knew if Miguel was ok or not. 

Robby again attempted to find out if Miguel was ok. Robby was worried as Robby noticed that Miguel’s nightmares were becoming more frequent. 

“You ok Migs.”

“Yeah, I’m ok. It was nothing.”

“It didn’t sound like nothing. I’m just worried.”

“Just a bad dream Robby. Forget about it.”

“What was it about? I read if you write down your dreams when you wake up, it can sometimes help you know what the dream means.”

“I can’t remember the dream. It faded away already. It was just a nightmare. Thanks Robby. Go back to bed. Sorry for waking you up. Thanks for the pizza by the way. Oh, and I was Jake in High School” (From the movie “Never Back Down”).

“Nah. You were Ryan in High School, Miggy.”

“You know I hate when you call me Miggy. Only my mom and Yaya get to call me Miggy.” 

“Goodnight Miggy.”

“Goodnight Ryan. I was Jake.” 

“I love you brother.” 

“I love you too, brother.”

“You know I am here for you. If you want to talk about the nightmare.” 

“Good night. Get some rest. You know I am here for you. Sueños con los Angelitos hermanito.”

“I am the older brother—Miggy mi hermanito. You know that I hate when you speak Mexican.”

“It is Spanish güey. You should learn some if you want to fuck that Mexican girl with the big ass you’re chasing at that stupid club you go to. Oh, and maybe don’t fuck the bartender who works there that’s friends with her too. Um, Yeah, and you’re four months older than me Robert. Oh, and you already know I’m Ecuadorian dumb fuck, not Mexican. ECUADOR! Maybe you should have taken a geography course. Mexico and Ecuador are different countries and I speak Spanish. And first and foremost, I’m an American—served in the United States Marine Corp. Semper Fi, Mother fucka.” 

“Shut the fuck up Miggy. I’m sleeping. If you wake me up again, I'm going to kick your ass.”   
  
"Meh, like you could. Go to sleep." 

Miguel had lied to Robby just then. Miguel did not forget the Nightmare. He never forgot the nightmares. The Nightmare was always the same. He remembered it vividly and lucidly. He had the same nightmare over and over again--with some variation. He did not have nightmares all the time. He had nightmares in the hospital during his Junior year in High School, and they continued even when he came home. 

However, eventually those nightmares from the school eventually went away. They came back during and after his time in the Marines. Miguel had even more nightmares in the Marines after his first combat tour, in Iraq. These were new nightmares combined with the first one. He had even more nightmares after his second combat tour, in Afghanistan. There was a lull in the night terrors when he first came home from the Marines. He thought they had gone away. While Miguel did not have nightmares every day, they were more than occasional bad dreams. 

Miguel tried to hide the nightmares, and didn’t want to admit that he had PTSD, hyper-vigilance, obsessive thoughts, paranoia, anxiety and some situational occasional depression. Usually, Miguel could get over any emotional or psychological problems with prayer and his belief in God, relying on his family and friends, his strong will, and a good workout—especially his Martial Arts training. However, Miguel couldn’t stop the nightmares and psychological problems from coming to the surface. They nightmares and anxiety come spontaneously. 

Miguel never had suicidal thoughts. Miguel embraced life, and loved life, and was philosophically against suicide. As a believing Catholic, Miguel rejected suicide. However, one U.S. Navy Psychiatrist who interviewed Miguel after his Marine battalion came back from especially difficult deployment in Afghanistan, and Miguel received a combat related injury, the Psychiatrist put in Miguel’s medical notes that he suspected that Miguel had some homicidal ideation, and was good at hiding his PTSD symptoms--however, nothing conclusive could be determined. The Navy psychiatrist said that Miguel could be alternatively very focused and determined and even intimidating at times, but at other times Miguel was nervous, fidgety, and uncomfortable. 

Miguel’s usual recurring night terrors were first in Iraq, but it is a surreal Iraq in his dreams, with pretty girls in bathing suits sunbathing, and dragons flying overhead, and he is in a convoy riding in formation, in real life and in his dream his friend Preston “Blade” Wilson from Louisiana gets hit from a roadside IED, and gets thrown out of the vehicle as it explodes—but Wilson although injured, miraculously survives in real life. He sees what happened to LCpl Wilson over and over in his dreams. LCpl Wilson and Miguel still talk to each other once a month on the phone. LCpl Wilson has a 100% VA disability but is actually also completely recovered besides some permanent burn marks and scars, and Wilson considers it a miracle from God that he survived and is still living. Wilson’s nickname was Blade, because he looked like Wesley Snipes. Miguel had a few nicknames in the Marines--the Cobra, the Bronze Knight, the White Knight, and the Tasmanian Devil. 

A hand held small surface to surface missile hits the vehicle with Tommy “Gunz” from New Jersey in it and kills him and everybody else in the vehicle dies, except one passenger who survives with serious burns. Miguel went to New Jersey to pay respects to Tommy “Gunz” family after he got out of the Marines. He writes them a Christmas card every year. He remembers Jersey Tommy “Gunz” in his prayers for the dead--Miguel prays for all his dead family, friends, and fallen comrades every All Souls Day, and every Memorial Day for his fallen Marine brothers. Although he is Ecuadorian, and not Mexican, he always celebrates Dia de los Muertos on All Souls Day. Miguel is fascinated by images of death, but no longer watches the war movies he used to like when he was younger. 

The Nightmare happened just about the way it happened in real life with the exception of the surreal surroundings and in a bizarre chronological order. After driving in the convoy in Iraq, suddenly and inexplicably Miguel is out of the convoy and walking on patrol with his squad in a phalanx formation in Afghanistan when he comes across a Pashtun village. Miguel gets into a firefight. Miguel gets attacked while clearing a house, and engages in hand to hand combat after losing his weapons system and is cut off from most of the other Marines. Miguel comes alive when he is in hand to hand combat. However, Miguel is outnumbered in the house and loses one of his fellow Marines in the house--Cpl Gunther from Wisconsin gets stabbed in the neck and blood starts gushing out everywhere. Cpl Gunther dies and Miguel can never forget the look of fear on his face and blood gushing everywhere. Miguel takes a knife stab to his right pectoral muscle and right side of his ribs from one enemy combatant, and knife slash across the lower back from another enemy combatant. Even with body armor, Miguel feels the pain and is bleeding and is outnumbered. He sprains his wrist and his ankle kicking, punching and stabbing like the cartoon Tasmanian devil--Miguel was sure he was a dead man but was going to go down fighting. Johnny Alvarado from Texas, and Mikey Calabrese from Chicago save Miguel during the hand to hand melee. Miguel thought he was a dead man after he was separated from his weapons system and was outnumbered and fighting ensued with knives and fists and legs--Alvarado and Calabrese saved his life. Miguel grabs his weapons system, and blasts his way out of there. Tex-Mex Johnny A and Chicago Triple M (Mafia Mikey Mike) are some of Miguel’s best friends to this day, and they get together at least once a year--they even have a theme song: “Regulate” by Nate Dogg and Warren G. 

They clear the building and walk out in formation--a wounded, grateful, brave and limping Miguel taking point. Miguel liked being first in the door, and first out of the door, and was brave and courageous. However, Miguel was also smart, could be cautious, and did not like needless suffering and death. Diaz, Alvarado, Calabrese and a few other Marines walk a few yards, and suddenly an IED blows up in front of Miguel sending him up and across a good 20 feet, in real life knocking him out. He doesn’t get any shrapnel, but does probably get a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury, and definitely had a concussion) and a good amount of headaches for the months that followed. Miguel did not get any shrapnel, so no Purple Heart was awarded, but does get awarded a Purple Heart for the two knife wounds and one bullet wound from this battle. 

That was what happened in real life, but in the dream, while it happens basically the same way, Robby is in the Afghani Village with them in some of his dreams, and in the dream the IED blows him up and out, and while he is falling, he does not lose consciousness in the dream, and he falls into a pool, and then through the pool as he falls through the sky, falling through different dimensions like in that Dr. Who show that Demitri liked to watch and always talked about. After falling through the sky, his Marine squad is in West Valley High School in formation, and so are the Al-Qaeda and Taliban hostiles, and so is Samantha, Robby, Tory, Aisha, Bert, Hawk, Sal, Ryan, Mitch, Chris, Nate and the rest, and he is falling. 

He falls on the second floor balcony where the fight happened with him and Robby 11 years earlier, then he trips over the rail at West Valley High School as Johnny and Carmen suddenly appear and dive after him, his Marine squad is returning enemy fire, Robby is watching him and it feels like Robby is in his dream and can see all this, and Miguel continues to fall. The last part of the dream is repeated in this nightmare, and Miguel falls again and again from the IED he is blown up and back, then falls into the pool, falls from the sky, falls on the balcony, then trips over the balcony rail and Johnny and Carmen dive after him and Robby stares on in horror, and then he starts to flail wildly as he braces for impact on the stair-rail and stairs--and then Miguel jolts awake screaming. He never hits the middle stair-rail, nor the stairs, he wakes up before that happens. He can see Samantha and Tory screaming and looking in terror--he has feelings of love for both of them in the dream. He has feelings of love and hate for Robby in his dream. He has feelings for love for all his Cobras in the dreams. He sees his dead Marine fallen brothers in his dream. He has intense love for his mom-Carmen, Yaya, and Johnny in his dream. It is confusing, bizarre, and painful. 

The dream sometimes has some variation and has different people in it--including some that were not there. Eagles that were not there in Iraq nor Afghanistan. Obviously, there were no Dragons in real life, and some events that were slightly different, but it always starts driving on convoy in Iraq, turns into a foot patrol in Afghanistan, fire fight and hand to hand combat, and then getting blown up and back by an IED and then falling into a pool, through the sky, and then back at West Valley high. The last portion of the dream starts in the Afghani village, before the explosion and the falling. He feels like Robby is in the dream, it is a weird feeling but it is also comforting at times.

Robby never told Miguel that he also had and has nightmares, much more rarely, and he also felt like he and Miguel were in the same bad dream together. Robby had dreams about his mom, his childhood, his dad leaving, his dad’s flaws, his dad choosing Miguel over him, his mom’s flaws, Samantha, Miguel and him fighting, Miguel falling--but not that often. Robby even had dreams that were confusingly about Miguel in the Marines and Miguel getting hurt in Iraq and Afghanistan. 

Robby knew Miguel was lying about the nightmares, and Robby knew enough about psychiatry, psychology and mental health that Miguel probably had PTSD. Robby knew Miguel had anxiety and depression at times, because Robby was anxious and depressed at times. Robby knew that Miguel had situational depression over his brothers in arms who died, and his fellow Marines that were wounded. Robby knew some bad things happened over there, and Miguel had a strong moral compass but that also Miguel was not a rat--and that could cause cognitive dissonance. Robby knew Miguel could be violent. Robby would stare at Miguel when he was sleeping sometimes, and look at Miguel’s shirtless body and the wounds on his chest and ribs, and the slash wounds on his back, and the bullet scars--and it brought profound sadness and pain to Robby. Robby wished that Miguel never joined the Marines. Robby wished he and his dad inherited the money from Grandpa Sid before Miguel joined the Marines, so his dad or him could have paid for Miguel’s school. Not that Grandpa Sid would die earlier, but that Grandpa Sid would have given them money while he was still alive so they could have paid for Miguel’s college so he did not have to go to the Marines. Miguel had good grades, did well on his SAT and ACT and did not have to go into the Marines--Miguel chose to go to the Marines. Miguel’s college counselor told Miguel that his grades and standardized test scores could get him scholarships, but Miguel had not listened to his school counselor since the beginning of his Sophomore year in High School when Sensei Johnny Lawrence cured him of asthma. Robby just couldn’t understand why. 

Robbby was jealous of Miguel’s giant Marine portrait hanging in their house, and everybody always thanking Miguel for his service--something that Robby could see that Miguel was uneasy with--Miguel did not like all the attention regarding his military service. The 2 Purple Hearts, Silver Star and Unit Citation for Bravery hung in their home too, but Miguel would sometimes take them down and put them in the closet--but would not argue with his mom or Yaya when they would put it back up. Even though Robby was making big money, more than most college grads, he did not feel that he received the credit that Miguel got for serving in the Marines, nor the credit that Miguel got for going to college. Robby was mature enough, and disciplined enough to show this jealousy, and it never manifested negatively in their relationship, but it didn’t stop him from being jealous of Miguel’s military service and going to a good 4 year college. Miguel took no psychotropic medications nor pain killers. Miguel would not take any medication for anxiety, depression, PTSD nor sleep. Miguel would not go see the VA psychiatrist, nor the VA psychologist, nor VAs social worker.

Miguel did good in school. Miguel showed up on time and did a good job at his job. Miguel did a good job in the Marines. Miguel was able to hide and mask most of his problems. So Miguel thought he did not need any help. He only talked about his time in combat with a few fellow Marines and even that was rare. 

Despite Miguel’s boyish face, and still nerdy and nice personality, his upper body was covered in tattoos reminiscent of a man who seemed to belong to organizations with gravitas, with a background that may make you darker, and that experiences that give you brothers for life--action that you never forget. Miguel’s brothers and sisters loved the tattoos and they would touch them and trace them, and Johnny Jr would draw pictures of them. The twin-girls asked Miguel to get tattoos of unicorns and rainbows. Robby would look at the tattoos and try to decipher the meanings. 

The tattoos were the 2nd Battalion, 3rd Marines, Echo Company words and symbol with a sword standing pommel on top speared through a yellow three 3 on a red shield with a black edge emblazoned across Miguel’s left bicep. The Motto of the 2/3 Marines--the Latin words and phrase “Fortuna Fortes Juvat” (Fortune Favors the Brave) were inscribed on his tawny skin. A tattoo Skull with big teeth had 2/3 inscribed on the forehead with revolvers crossed facing down with the word “Echo” above the skull, and “Outlaws” below the downward crossed revolvers. Tattoo tear drops fall from the Marine tattoos symbolizing his fallen brothers. He has large United States American Flag, and a smaller flag of Ecuador under the American flag tattooed on the right side of his body. His Right bicep has a tattoo of a Cobra, albeit not with the anatomically correct eyes--but the Cobra Kai cobra, and “COBRA KAI NEVER DIES” is written under the Cobra, and under that written in Spanish is “El Serpiente''. He has a Koi Fish tattoo on his back, from his lower back almost all the way to his triceps, it is from the Japanese fable-the Koi fish who can swim up waterfall becomes a Dragon. He has a large heart tattoo where his own heart is, with the words “La Familia es Todo. Amor!” and the names: Mama Carmen, Yaya Rosa, Johnny, Robby, Juanito, Rosa y Laura all inscribed in the giant heart. A smaller broken heart tattoo is under the big heart. Above the Koi Fish-Dragon tattoo, above the Dragon but with another tattoo between them, there is a symbol of the Trinity in the Celtic style at the highest point of his back right by his neck, and on the right side there is a bloody crucified Jesus, and on the left La Virgen de Ecuador-Nuestra Señora del Buen Suceso. Below the Trinity, but above the Dragon, is a tattoo of Saint Michael the Archangel in battle defeating satan. Needless to say, his mother hated the tattoos, but Johnny and most of his Cobra Kai friends thought they were badass. His right forearm has a tattoo that says “Regulators” and Arabic and Pashtun words written undeneath. He got most of these tattoos in the Marines, and some of the tattoos while drunk. The tattoos are well done and artistic--and for Miguel, all the tattoos had a deeper meaning. 

Even though Robby only did a year of Community College and dropped out—his job was in sales, and he was a de-facto practicing psychologist because of sales experiences. Robby was listening to Jordan Peterson Youtube talks, and despite his making fun of college grads making less money than him, he listened to open source Yale University lectures while driving and started reading more. Growing up with alcoholic parents, he was very observant and tried to take care of adults like a parent. Miguel was too guarded, and had too much pride to ask for help, and this hurt Robby—because after all they were brothers. Not only were they brothers, but Robby felt a guilt driven obligation to help Miguel. 

Robby liked and respected Miguel even if they were not super close after all these years—but they were brothers and Robby wanted to help Miguel and heal Miguel—Robby just didn’t know what to do. Robby didn’t know how to help Miguel, but he wanted to try. 

\------ 

Miguel didn’t go back to sleep right away. He felt some relief that Robby was there. He liked having a brother his age. He respected Robby. He enjoyed watching two movies together (“Never Back Down” that they mostly argued through and “Place Behind the Pines” that they were mostly silent through) He liked eating pizza and drinking with him.

Johnny and Carmen had been on a long romantic weekend in Cabo San Lucas. Yaya took the three younger kids to San Gabriel to see her cousin, and was going to drive to Palm Springs with her cousin to see a friend from their village in Ecuador. 

Miguel could usually hide his emotional and psychological issues. They were not included in his 80% Disability award from the VA. However, even though Miguel had two Purple Hearts (One from Iraq and one from Afghanistan), a Silver Star, Unit citation for Bravery, and was in firefights, and close quarters combat, hand to hand life or death combat, and lost friends in combat, and had friends seriously wounded in combat, and even two friends seriously injured not in combat but in civilian life--Miguel liked to believe he was fine and did not need any help. Miguel believed that asking for help was a sign of weakness--even though he encouraged his own Marine friends to seek help. Miguel believed that he was stronger and didn’t need help and didn’t want to talk about his time in combat nor his problems. However, the origin of the nightmare happened before the time in combat. The genesis of the bad dreams happened before he was in the Marines. 

The Nightmare is always the same. The nightmare never really changed much— even eleven years after it happened, and a lot that happened in between, the nightmare always ended the same way with Miguel in West Valley High School, falling off the balcony and plunging back first towards the stair-rails and stairs. 

  
  



End file.
